Join The Army: See New Places! Shoot New Species!

I recently had the misfortune of watching a little movie called Battle: Los Angeles. It came out in March of 2011, perhaps you saw it too. It’s an alien invasion movie focusing on the Marines who are just a small piece of the action.

There’s plenty to complain about regarding the hackneyed script and characters. The retirony. The dakka. The shaky cam. Oh, God, the shaky cam.

But as the closing credits went up, I was thinking about something else.

Around the release of Tranformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Kristin Thompson posted this blog entry about movies getting financial and technical assistance from the U.S. military. It’s not new, and there’s many reasons for doing it. The military of course wants some measure of script approval- Thompson says the Pentagon will insist on depicting teamwork as bringing success, rather than a lone hero’s individual heroics.

Transformers is unique in getting material and people from four out of five service branches, where most focus on only one. Battle: LA, which focuses on a squad of heavily armed Marines got plenty of assistance from, you guessed it, the Coast Guard. But it doesn’t stop there.

Battle: Los Angeles is essentially a two hour recruiting commercial.[1] You think I’m kidding. The focus on teamwork is ever present. One character makes a heroic sacrifice by screaming his name, rank, and unit over the radio. The surviving characters make it to safety and a hot meal, only to grab more ammo to return to the fray.

The best example is the three children are rescued by the Marines- two girls and a boy. The girls are ignored, except when they scream in terror. The boy, on the other hand gets some minor heroics and is dubbed “the bravest Marine I’ve ever met.” Three guesses what he wants to be when he grows up.

The multitudes will undoubtedly walk out feeling mildly more patriotic[2], but perhaps unaware that this movie owes a lot to a story with a very different purpose.

Battle: LA, like most alien invasion stories, takes much of its premise to The War of the Worlds, a novel written way back in 1898 by H.G. Wells. Here, the mighty British Empire is conquered by Martians who are to us as we are to microbes in a drop of water. And what saves the day in the end? The microbes, the lowest forms of life on Earth, against whom the invaders have no defenses.[3]

Wells goes a step further, suggesting that the mighty British Empire and the Martians may not be so different: “And before we judge them [the Martians] too harshly, we must remember what ruthless and utter destruction our own species has wrought… Are we such apostles of mercy as to complain if the Martians warred in the same spirit?”[4] Only in science fiction would the British Empire get a taste of its own medicine.

H.G. Wells, it should be noted, was a Socialist[5], as in, “actually believes in Socialism,” and not a Socialist, as in, “centrist Democrat,” like Barack Obama. Wells is interested not just in new technologies, but in the ways they affect society.[6] The point is not that aliens are invading Earth and that’s cool, it’s that the aliens are doing just what we’ve done to ourselves.

So you can imagine I was a little upset when I saw Wells’ critique of military might and plea for self-reflection distorted into a popcorn propaganda movie.

But perhaps I complain too much. Wells himself was indebted to a genre of stories called “invasion literature,” featuring Britain invaded by some foreign power, usually Germany. They were quite popular up until about 1914, when WWI made modern warfare not so fun anymore. As vehicles for nationalistic heroics, they served basically the same purpose as Battle:LA does today.

While H.G. Wells made his Britain uniquely helpless against the invaders, the director Jonathan Liebesman and his cohorts have ignored what Wells was trying to do. Instead they have made a piece of mindless propaganda that encourages the infinite complacency with which men go “to and fro over this globe, about their little affairs, serene in their assurance of their empire over matter.”

I should point out that I have nothing against the U.S. military[7], and if they ever wish to give me their assistance, I will gladly take it.

  1. [1] Of Transformers, one Army official says in Variety, if the military had to fend off an alien invasion, “this is how we’d do it.” Yet at the beginning of Battle:LA film, when the humans still have air superiority, they let the Marines walk through Santa Monica, so by the time they get to their destination, the aliens have the upper hand and they have to walk all the way back.
  2. [2] Since when did being patriotic come to mean fawning over the military?
  3. [3] Oddly, Wells’ heroic germs have, in practice, tended to work in the invaders’ favor.
  4. [4] From Chapter 1, “The Eve of the War.”
  5. [5] It’s a vague term, and can mean lots of things. Wells was a fan of a one-world-government, collective ownership and not a fan of capitalism. The distinction between Socialism and Communism is also blurry, but he probably wouldn’t go that far.
  6. [6] Wells’ The Time Machine features a future society where the aristocracy have evolved into the innocent, childlike Eloi. The working class, after centuries of toiling underground, has evolved into the subterranean Morlocks who feast upon the rich. In case you’re wondering, yes, that is class warfare. A spectre is haunting Europe, indeed…
  7. [7] Rah rah rah!
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Andrew’s Oscar Picks 2012!

By some fluke of not paying attention, the Golden Globes appear to have pass me by. My score then is zero for zero. Let’s see if we can do any better this time.

It occurs to me that the ballots have all been sent in and counted at this point, and I’m sure at least one person knows the winners. What are the odds of my guesses being right? Certainly it’s not random chance anymore, since the answers have been determined, but not yet publicly announced. I wonder if this has any implications for Schrodinger’s Cat. But that’s beside the point. The full list of nominees is here.

Best Picture: I think The Artist is going to have a big night, so expect it to show up a few more times on this list.*

Best Actor: Only one man can out-Clooney George Clooney: Jean Dujardin. I mean, just look at that chin dimple! While I haven’t seen The Descendants, if Clooney can somehow make us think that he is a descendant of native Hawaiians, then he probably deserves at least an honorable mention.*

Best Actress: Hmm. Meryl? Or Viola? Let’s say… Viola Davis. But remember, Academy, you can overlook someone so many times before you have to give them a Lifetime Achievement Award and say you’re sorry.

Best Supporting Actor: I have absolutely no statistics to back this up, but my instincts are saying Jonah Hill from Moneyball. That’s right- after tonight we’ll all be saying, “Academy Award Winner Jonah Hill.”

Best Supporting Actress: Octavia Spencer. Why was Berenice Bejo nominated as a supporting actress when she was clearly the lead female role in the film? Probably because Harvey Weinstein severely underestimated The Help.*

Best Director: Michel Hazanavicis. This year there are several directors with very violent sounding names, including “Hazanavicis,” Alexander “Payne,” and Marty “Scorsese.” Make of that what you will.*

Best Original Screenplay: The Artist. Again.

Best Adapted Screenplay: I’ll say Moneyball. We like Aaron Sorkin, don’t we?

Best Animated Feature: Ran-goooo!!! <Hushed>Rango!<Hushed> The lack of a nomination for Pixar is disheartening here. I think the Academy really doesn’t like the Cars franchise. C’mon, guys! I know the money’s tempting, but don’t let us down! Make Brave a good one!*

Best Foreign Language Film: A Separation. Will this cool down tensions between Tehran and Washington? If only…*

Best Cinematography: Yes, The Artist is in black & white, which is… new… and… groundbreaking… but it was originally in color and desaturated in post. I’ll say The Tree of Life for this one.

Best Editing: The Artist. Only way to do that is the old fashioned… wait, they used a computer, didn’t they?

Best Art Direction: Part of me is saying War Horse. But then there’s The Artist. Nahh. War Horse.

Best Costume Design: Fine, The Artist, have another one. Those were some nice suits.*

Best Makeup: Forget the gorgeous period dress, or the flashy biopic. It’s Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 for this one.

Best Original Score: The Artist. But Academy? The rules in this category… I mean, the latter Lord of the Rings chapters and There Will Be Blood get overlooked because of “music not originally composed for the film,” but several minutes of Vertigo get dropped into the climax like a frakking temp score and you let that slide? Dude, what gives? [1]*

Best Original Song: Man or Muppet from The Muppets. Although, was this one of the only songs not written by Jason Segel?*

Best Sound Mixing: What was that? Sound Mixing? Yeah- Transfor- I said TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON!!!!

Best Sound Editing: What the hell. Hugo.*

Best Visual Effects: Okay, wizard duels[2], movie magic, boxing robots, lots and lots of angry apes, or robots leveling Chicago. Transformers again.

Best Feature Documentary: Paradise Lost 3: Purgatory. Got kids out of prison for a crime they didn’t commit. Natch.

Best Short Documentary: No frakking clue. The Barber of Birmingham: Foot Soldier of the Civil Rights Movement.

Best Animated Short: I think The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore sounds cool.*

Best Live Action Short: Shrug. Pentecost.

And there you have it! Check back later to see the score!

Update: 11/24. And I would have had more if frakking Hugo hadn’t screwed up the techical categories. <grumblegrumblegrumble>

  1. [1] Also, when John Williams doesn’t split the vote and finally wins again, he’s probably going to have a ton of names to thank that he’s been keeping held in for decades.
  2. [2] And that dragon!
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On The Care, Feeding, and Education of Nerds of All Types

We can say that Muad’Dib learned rapidly because his first lesson was in how to learn. And the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn. It is shocking to find how many people do not believe they can learn, and how many more believe learning to be difficult. Muad’Dib knew that every experience carries its lesson.

-From “The Humanity of Muad’Dib” by the Princess Irulan[1]

I know I’m late in posting this, but I wanted to write about a post on John August’s blog from several weeks ago about music education. John argues that instead of teaching kids traditional band instruments like trombone, clarinet, French horn and the rest, everybody should just learn piano or guitar. The whole thing is here, and I encourage you to read it. The response was overwhelmingly negative, but while I disagree, I want to be constructive. Here goes.

I don’t think John wants to destroy music education- he wants to give students a love of playing music they can use their whole lives. This is admirable. Isn’t the point of education to give children the skills they need to be happy and successful in adulthood[2]? However, I do think that in order for a child to have a life-long love of playing music, they need to have a greater choice in the instrument they play.

“But why?” you ask. First, a bit about myself. I was born with some nerve damage on the right side of my body- it’s only noticeable in my right hand, and even then not much. The main issue is that I can’t move my right fingers as easily as my left. I had physical therapy for it when I was younger and it’s not really a problem.[3]

No, John August does not want to destroy all trombones...

Fast forward to first grade. My brother Jeffrey and I started taking piano lessons. As hard as I tried, and as much as I practiced, my right hand kept me from playing music that I wanted to. It was incredibly frustrating. Especially when you have a twin brother who also plays the same instrument.

In fourth grade, we got to pick a band instrument. I picked the only one without any valves or keys to trip up my right hand- trombone. And I loved it. Finally, there was nothing to hold me back from playing as much as I wanted to. I played all through high school with the Colts Neck Community Band. Then in college with the IC Campus Band, IC Sinfonietta and IC Trombone Troupe [4].

I went farther with trombone than I ever could with piano.[5] Then I went back to piano and played better than I ever did- thank you Bear McCreary’s BSG piano book! The point is, students who choose their own instrument, whatever the reason, will be more invested in sticking with it. Piano and guitar have a very high learning curve at the beginning, especially if you’re learning to read music- two hands doing two different things takes a lot of coordination. By contrast, after a couple weeks on most wind instruments, you can play a simple melody, no problem.

That’s not to say music education couldn’t be improved. For one thing, a lot of band music is terrible. In general, I would say less Sousa [6], more Bach [7], Holst, and the like.

I think exploiting children’s natural enthusiasm for certain subjects is important for

Triceratops horridus, a dinosaur.

learning in general. It would make the teacher’s job easier- if the kids are motivated to learn on their own, they’ll do the hard stuff themselves, just because it’s fun.

I had read every book on dinosaurs by the time I was ten because dinosaurs are frakking awesome. I tried inventing what amounted to a perpetual motion machine in fourth grade because I was deathly afraid we would run out of electricity. I had my dad explain special relativity to me as a middle schooler because I wanted Einstein to be wrong and warp drive to be possible.

I’m not the only person  who thinks this is a good idea- check out Vi Hart’s channel on YouTube, where she encourages math students to play with numbers, and maybe learn something too, through doodling. Preferably during math class. A kid’s interest in a subject comes from having the chance find out the answers to their own questions about it, not just going down a list of topics because someone told them to.

“But wait!” you cry. “Won’t this turn everybody into a bunch of nerds?” YES! Nerds are at their nerdiest when they gush about the nerdy things they love. And at least for people like me, that enthusiasm is infectious.[8] The more, the merrier.

And on that note, I think I’m going to go teach myself calculus so I can learn Newtonian mechanics properly. It would certainly make writing action scenes easier…

  1. [1] From “Dune” by Frank Herbert
  2. [2] That goes for you too, Abstinence Only Sex Education. You know what I’m talking about.
  3. [3] I don’t think it has a name (paresis?), and isn’t really a scourge, but if you feel moved to help find a cure, please, give generously.
  4. [4] Ever hear forty trombones all playing at the same time? Oh, you’re missing out…
  5. [5] More than once, people asked me, “You’re left handed? How can you use a right-handed slide?” Ha!
  6. [6] Except the Liberty Bell March, because the concerts could use some fart noises.
  7. [7] If you like that, try this.
  8. [8] And what about the kids who “just aren’t motivated?” I don’t know. Only thing I can think of is to find out what they’re most interested in- video games, sports, movies, make-up, etc- and encourage them to learn more about it. Start early. Don’t stop.
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Writing The Western Update XIV: Dante Egg Just Gives Up

There are times when this world stops making sense and there’s nothing any of us can do about it. When that happens, I just stand there and scowl. Then I get a drink. Or several. But out here, self medicating is frowned upon. No decent whiskey for miles and miles. Dammit.

I trudged back into town from the massacre at the farmhouse. I’d hoped that when folks heard about what Sherwood had done in the name of his story, the ones who knew something would be moved to come forward, if only to bring The Author to justice. But when I got there…

Oh, God… the bodies.

This wasn’t a crime scene. It was a war zone. I stopped counting around fifty. The center of the town had been decimated. Buildings destroyed. Burned. Gutted. Men, women, children…

Tell me, Sherwood, how does this fit into your overarching plan? Is this how you make a Happy Ending? Is it? Unless…

Unless your are even more nefarious than I thought. There’s no hope for any of us, is there? We just wander around, according to your whims, waiting for whatever gruesome demise you have in store for us? No one lives Happily Ever After.

What’s the point then? My role is a joke. This story is a farce. Right and Wrong. Law and Order. Justice. These things mean nothing anymore.

My job here is done. I leave my badge in the dust. You win, Sherwood. You win.

Of course, when I told Da Chief all this, he just laughed. “A war zone? Yeah, this ain’t the first time Sherwood’s done something like this. Don’t worry about it, Egg, just fill out the report and send it over to Sgt. Jack Balls at the Municipal Defense Department. They’ll handle it.”

“But what about our case against Sherwood? How can we hope to stop someone who’s capable of so much death and destruction?”

“Buck up Egg. It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it. You stay on Sherwood like a strained metaphor on purple prose. Keep tabs on everything he does. Go off the rails if you have to. Bend the rules- or his fingers. I don’t care. Because when we finally catch up with The Author- and we will- there’s no hocus pocus he can possibly do that will ever let him see the light of day again.”

He stood up and pulled on his coat and hat. “C’mon, Egg. I’ll buy you a drink. You heard a weather forecast? Looks like you could use a good, long sulk in the rain.”

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Writing The Western Update XIII: “I’m Finished!”

It’s done! Finally!

Well, the first draft, anyway. Ive been a bit of a bad blogger, too… I actually finished writing the Western the night of 11/11-12/11… more than a month ago, I know, but I wanted to continue covering the different sections as I had originally planned. And of course, with work and the holidays, I couldn’t get these posts up as quickly as I’d wanted. But what’s done is done. Act V!

The End is my favorite part of any story. Not just because I’m finished, and I get to sit back and bask in my own greatness, but because the end is where everything ties together and the audience is left with a final image or idea that will (hopefully) haunt them out of the theater. It’s usually the part that I come up with first, and I use my desire to write it as motivation to get through through the rest of the story.

It's that time again...

Act V includes the climactic final shootout between our protagonist and the villain’s mooks. There’s also one last staring contest in the middle of main street to settle the score once and for all.[1] I use to love writing action scenes[2],  but as my tastes have… ahem… matured, I find I have to work hard to keep them interesting for me.

As with chase scenes, simply having people, or starships, or Care Bears, whatever, shoot at each other until one side’s been decimated is boring. Everybody has goals, and tries different ways of achieving them- in this case through brutal, bloody violence.[3] But that’s what everybody wants, right?

Ideally, a fight scene should be snappy and quick. Reading it should be the same way. That means short, clipped sentences. CAPTIALIZED sound effects for emphasis. I’ll also use shot headings[4] to break up the paragraphs and keep things brisk.

I like what I have right now, but when I go back to do revisions, I want to condense the

He doesn't want to read all of you, either.

action even more. I have several paragraphs that go on for five or six lines- that doesn’t sound like much, but for someone used to reading scripts, it might as well be Moby Dick. It’s unfortunate that there’s little room for writers who like to compose long, flowing description, but too many people are lazy and stop reading. If you can’t beat ‘em…

So, the script is done. How long did it take? I started on 9/7/11 and ended on 11/11(12)/11[5] Acts I and V took the shortest time, one day each. Act II took the longest, from 9/13/11-10/7/11. Act V was probably my biggest page output in one day[6], with 21 pages. The final page count was 139 pages, which is on the long side. During revisions I’ll hopefully bring that down to 120 pages.[7]

And what of the Five Act Structure? I thought it worked very well. I had to make a few minor adjustments to my outline, but the overall structure never changed. I always knew where I was in the story, and never got lost. Not long after I finished the script, John August posted this podcast with Craig Mazin, where they talk about “second act malaise.”[8] This is the difficulty that comes with slogging through the middle of the story, Act II of III.

John and Craig offer various reasons why, but I think one reason Act II of III is so difficult is its open-endedness. The malaise they wrestle with is exactly why I prefer using five acts. Sixty pages is a daunting task- with five acts, I’m checking in with my outline about every twenty pages, so I always know where I’m going. It’s much easier to use.

Greatest Storytelling Genius of All Time

One of John’s commenters, since hidden, linked to this article at Film Crithulk. Hulk have similar feeling toward Three Act Structure as Andrew. He point out its ubiquity and inadequacy in helping writer create story. Hulk also show how Five Act Structure present in plays by William Shakespeare, or “Greatest storytelling genius of all time.”

Just so we’re clear, I’m offering Five Act Structure as another way of doing things. There’s no reason to get dogmatic about it. If we learn anything from Three Act Structure, let it be that there’s more than one way to write a story. Find something that works for you.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this trip through the mind of a screenwriter. If you want to read The Western, you’re going to have to hold your horses- I need to make revisions first, and take some legal precautions, but rest assured, I will share it with everyone eventually.

  1. [1] But of course.
  2. [2] My observation back in elementary school that the biggest, best action scene usually came at the end was one of the things that first got me interested in story structure.
  3. [3] Whether it does get them what they want is another story…
  4. [4] Alias “sluglines,” like scene headings (which are also called sluglines), but different. If you have The Hollywood Standard, Christopher Riley has some good examples for how they can break up action.
  5. [5] That means it was after midnight on the 12th, but I hadn’t gone to bed yet. I do some of my best work in the evening.
  6. [6] I was pushing myself to finish.
  7. [7] If you’re over two hours long, theaters can’t have as many screenings per day, which means fewer paying customers. And if it doesn’t make enough money, then what’s the point?
  8. [8] There’s a transcript available as well, scroll down to where John says, “One other thing that I want to talk about…”
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Writing The Western Update XII: Dante Egg Grows Increasingly Frustrated

This is getting serious.

Attracted by the sound of gunfire and the smell of burning building, I discovered a trail of hoof prints that wound their way through a dense forest and a grisly scene. By my count, there were sixteen bodies left in the wake of this fast moving chase. Some had been shot. Others had been knocked off their mounts by tree branches. One poor soul had been hit in the face with-

No, I can’t. Dammit.

There wasn’t much to go on for leads. Who were the good guys? Which were the villains? Were the pursuers trying to capture their quarry? Or drive them away? One thing is clear, whoever did the dirty work had Improbable Aiming Skills. Almost as if they had some supernatural control of how events unfold around them…

The Author. Sherwood. Dammit.

Sixteen bodies, and only one horse. I never understand how that happens. You have a chase on horseback, and the only ones who get hurt are the people. The horses are so much bigger. And they’re right there…

Not too far away, at a poor shepherd’s farmhouse, I found something even worse. It was a massacre. Everybody was dead. And I mean everybody. Twenty deaths in as many pages.

It’s times like these I wish I could go out in the rain and sulk. Unfortunately, I’m still out in this frakking desert.

Dammit.

I can’t make sense of this story anymore. That poor shepherd- why, Sherwood? Why would you kill off an entire family of innocent people? It’s as if you only care about making the audience upset with the villains. No regard for the characters who have to suffer because of your warped sense of morality.

This isn’t over yet, Sherwood. You will be brought to justice. Mark my words.

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Writing The Western XI: Act IV Complete!

Yes, it’s true. It’s amazing what a little momentum can make. Acts II and IV are nominally the same length (18-24) pages, but where II took me almost a month, IV was done in a matter of days. As we get closer to the end, the story becomes more fun to write- the payoff beats are generally more interesting than the setups. This stretch had a lot to look forward to, so it was easier to want to get through it more quickly.[1] This is one reason I always write stories and screenplays from start to finish[2] My desire to get to the good parts helps me push through the beginning. And of course, I always save the best for last.

As I’ve been working on this stretch, I started noticing similarities between this story and the last screenplay I wrote, Captain Dishdrainer. It turns out they have scenes where Our Hero is captured by the villains and tortured for information. I swear this was not intentional. This was surprising, given how little else they have in common. Captain Dishdrainer is a children’s movie, for crying out loud. Yet it has the longer, more intense torture sequence. Go figure.

Then again, other pieces I’ve written around the same time tend to feature similar themes. Dirty Hands and Cinemetropolis both involve characters on the run from the police. As does The Unlikely Adventures of E. Pluribus Unum[3], written before either of them, which exists only as a very rough first draft that I need to go back to.

One of the sequences I’d been imagining for a long time was our horseback chase scene. As I got close to it, I started getting worried, though- I had a couple of cool moments in mind, but not much in the way of choreography. Five minutes of horses running and people shooting[4] does not a chase scene make. The pursuers are trying to ensnare the prey, and the prey is trying to throw off the pursuers. The question is… How?

I had an idea for the end of the scene, where one of the protagonists would lose the villains by using a special bomb with a pressure sensitive fuse[5] I had wanted him to tie a rope to the end and swing it around his head like a lasso- the centrifugal force would trip the fuse, he’d throw the bomb, and KABOOM!

Like this, but with explosives.

I’m a bit of a physics nerd like that. But because I’m a physics nerd… I had to actually work out the physics for this real-world device. I brought my Dad in to make sure I was using the right equations, and we discovered that the fuse wouldn’t light unless it was swung significantly faster than humanly possible.[6] So I needed a new way to light the fuse. Why not a gun? You’d either get the pressure from the bullet tripping the fuse, or the hot gases coming out after it would just light everything.

But our protagonist doesn’t have a gun! I remembered. And just like that- Choreography problem solved. Now amid the chaos, he would have to get close enough to one of the bad guys’ horses to steal his gun. And even if the lasso-trick won’t like the fuse, it still makes a great club.[7]

See kids? Isn’t science great?

Following the horseback chase, we had another sequence of two characters walking across the open desert trying to get back to town. I will admit that this scene was partially inspired by one of my absolute favorite films, Lawrence of Arabia[8] It’s a long, arduous journey in the heat of the day, so I thought the long, expansive shots of our protagonists being swallowed up by a sea of sand would be a nice touch.

It also helped that I was fortunate to see Lawrence on the big screen from a gorgeous 70mm print at The Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, NY. Absolutely amazing. I’d only seen it on DVD before, and it’s just not the same. Props especially to Maurice Jarre’s score, which filled the room from wall to wall.[9]

And so, we’re getting into the home stretch that is Act V. Stay tuned… it won’t be long now.

  1. [1] Also, the urge to just finish the damn thing kicks in once you’ve been working on it for a couple of months.
  2. [2] But for the outline, I’ll start at the end.
  3. [3] Compare with the full title of Captain Dishdrainer.
  4. [4] …and missing…
  5. [5] Believe me, it makes sense in context.
  6. [6] You’d probably need a helicopter engine.
  7. [7] Tee hee.
  8. [8] And a scene from The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.
  9. [9] The film was funnier than I remembered… perhaps this was the packed house. Best laugh of the night: In the officer’s mess, where a sand-covered Arab boy chugs the first liquid he’s seen in days, Lawrence tells the dumbstruck barkeep, “He likes your lemonade.”
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Writing The Western Updated X: Act III (of V) Complete!

Big news today: After reaching page 87 last night, I finished the section marked Act III in my outline. Yes, I know, if I’d been doing this with screenwriting-manual-approved Three Act Structure, I’d be done right now[1], but still, I feel like celebrating.

As I explained before, Act III is all about adjusting the circumstances of the story and sending it in a new direction. Here, that was done by introducing  a new character. You all know him, I’m sure, his name is… actually, I don’t know. Act IV is about everyone regrouping and adjusting their plans so that everything will resolve in their favor- in Act V.

I feel like I have a lot more momentum going right now. In the last two weeks, I’ve written about 40 pages. This is why it’s important to do a little bit every day. Once you get going, it’s harder to stop.[2] It does look like the script is going to come in a little on the long side, though. A feature script should ideally less than 120 pages[3] Act III ended about three pages later than it should have, and Act II was already one page over. I’m not worried about Act IV, but I think Act V may be a little long, too.

This isn’t the end of the world. It’s only a first draft, and I can always cut things. Act II has a lot of fat on it- When I calculated how long each act should be, I did the proportions for a 90-page script and a 120-pager, hoping to fall between them[4]. Act I as written is short enough for a 90 page script, Act II has the extra pages I didn’t use from that, plus the full 24 pages I allotted it. So there’s plenty to cut out to make room for the rest of the story.

Definitely stay tuned for Act IV: Very shortly, we’ll be doing our biggest action sequence yet, a chase on horseback. Down the side of a mountain. With low hanging branches. I’m excited. I hope you are too.

  1. [1] Actually, I wouldn’t, but that’s okay.
  2. [2] This is also part of Newton’s First Law of Motion.
  3. [3] Or two hours in running time
  4. [4] For anyone who’s interested, I allotted Acts II and IV 1/5th of the whole running time each, Act III got 2/5ths, and Acts I and V got 1/10th each. Multiply your finished length (90 or 120 pages) by the various fractions to get how long each act is. Three-Act Structure is similarly proportional (30-60-30 pages for a 120-pager). It’s also entirely possible the proportions I’m using need to be adjusted.
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Writing The Western Update IX: Dante Egg Is Too Late-Again

Dammit.

Same town. Same street. Male, early 20s. Another kid. And a mule.

Dammit.

Again, it all happened in broad daylight. Still no one will talk to me. People seem a little happier- apparently, nobody liked this guy. Or the mule. Still, we must have law and order around here. I mean, without out that, we’re no better than animals, aren’t we?

The guy was armed, I know that much. Maybe it was self defense. Maybe it wasn’t. I checked the magazine- it was empty. Either he was trigger happy and a terrible shot, or whatever killed him couldn’t be taken down by ordinary bullets.

That's him. He could be in either New York City or South Jersey.

Andrew Sherwood. Of course. Why would The Author write his own demise?

Dammit. Looks like I’m gonna need a bigger gun.

If Sherwood’s blog and outlines are any indication, he’s plotting more deaths. He’s got one guy asking another if he’ll avenge his son, for Pete’s sake.

I’ll say it again, people, vigilante justice doesn’t do any good. Please, if you’ve seen Sherwood, drop me a line. If you don’t, the next character to drop dead could be someone really sympathetic.

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Writing The Western Update VIII: In the Thick of Act III and Sergio Leone!

I’m sorry for the lack of updates, I’ve had to lay low for a while. I was able to get some work done on 10/15/11 and 10/17/11, when I got through two more scenes. We’re now into Act III, which is where a lot of interesting stuff happens.

The way I’ve structured things, Act III of V is very important. It’s usually the longest act, and centers around a midpoint where the circumstances of the story change drastically. Look at Shakespeare: in almost any Act III, someone dies, shows up, or goes into exile. Preferably more than one. Dying is popular- Polonius, Tybalt, Caesar, to name a few.

In my case, we’re introducing another major character in Act III, and killing off a minor bad guy. This scene was a lot of fun, and I’d been looking forward to it for a long time. I finally got to it on 10/18/11, when I got through another ten pages, and a gun duel that, if I may say so, is pretty cool.

It goes without saying that I owe a lot of what I’m writing to the spaghetti westerns of Sergio Leone. Films like The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly and Once Upon a Time in The West have been hugely influential for the genre and action movies in general.

I’d argue they helped kill off  Hollywood westerns like High Noon, and The Searchers. Leone’s production design uses fresh locations, and weather-beaten actors. They have an air of authenticity that American westerns seem to lack. You can’t make a western (or a schlocky low budget action movie) nowadays without tipping your hat to Leone. He’s well regarded by critics and fanboys alike.

While the gritty style, intense close ups, and badass swaggering have been coopted by many, I’m surprised that Leone’s treatment of violence hasn’t made as much of an impact. Perhaps because it requires slow building suspense, rather than a fast and furious shoot out. His most famous films all end with some kind of staring contest-quick draw duel. The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is a prime example. Take it away, Roger:

A fortune in gold is said to be buried in one of the graves, and three men have assembled, all hoping to get it. … Each man points a pistol at the other. If one shoots, they all shoot, and all die. Unless two decide to shoot the third man before he can shoot either one of them. But which two, and which third?

Leone draws this scene out beyond all reason, beginning in long shot and working in to closeups of firearms, faces, eyes, and lots of sweat and flies. He seems to be testing himself, to see how long he can maintain the suspense. … If you savor the boldness with which Leone flirts with parody, you understand his method. This is not a story, but a celebration of bold gestures.

Tell people something bad is going to happen, and then make them wait for it. Someone’s about to get shot- Ooh! Shiny!

And then it’s all over in a flash- someone draws and BANG! The villain slumps to the ground. This is key. All of that buildup gets dissipated in a second. To draw it out is a waste.

Consider a recent homage to Leone in the South Korean film, The Good, The Bad, The Weird. <SPOILER ALERT!!!> We end in a similar Mexican Standoff, but when the three characters draw their guns, we get an extended orgasm of gunfire, where everyone gets hit more than once, but keeps pulling their triggers. All of this makes me think, “These guys have terrible aim.”

<END SPOILERS>

It’s all about suspense. Twitchy, shoot-first, edge of your seat, ask-questions-later suspense. He’s the Trope Codifier for me, and I’m happy to tip my hat to Sergio Leone.

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