Update: 9/24! I think that’s worse than usual!
It’s that time of year again. As usual, I have seen a few of the nominees, but not all, and not nearly enough. So I should be even more qualified than ever!
Best Picture: Everyone’s saying La La Land, but I’d kinda like to see Moonlight get it. But I haven’t seen either one.* Editor’s note: I’m going to say I got this because I need the score boost.
Best Actor: Denzel Washington, Fences. Because obviously.
Best Actress: Spins wheel… Natalie Portman, Jackie.
Best Supporting Actor: Mahershala Ali. <shrug>*
Best Supporting Actress: Viola Davis, Fences. Because obviously.*
Best Animated Feature: Everyone’s saying Zootopia, but I liked Moana more I think. Look out for dark horse Kubo and the Two Strings.*
Best Cinematography: La La Land. Arrival looked really dark and grimy to me. But that could have been the theater.*
Best Costume Design: A period piece about one of the greatest fashion icons of the 20th Century? Why, it has to be Jackie.
Best Directing: Arrival. Which was good. I’m not sure it was better than the others.
Best Feature Documentary: 13th
Best Short Documentary: Joe’s Violin. I have no idea what any of these are about.
Best Editing: Whiplash got Best Editing when it came out. La La Land has the same editor. So again, maybe?
Best Foreign Language Film: The cynic in me says The Salesman, because its director, Asghar Farhadi, has said he’ll skip the ceremony because of President Trump’s immigration policy. And that’s one less acceptance speech that makes the broadcast run long.*
Best Makeup and Hairstyling: I’m saying Suicide Squad because that would be really, really funny.*
Best Original Score: La La Land.*
Best Song: “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana. Lin-Manuel Miranda, here’s your EGOT and– wait, what’s Trolls doing here?
Best Production Design: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Best Animated Short: Piper. Because if it wasn’t made by Pixar, you wouldn’t know it was animated.*
Best Live Action Short: La Femme et le TGV. I should really call this “Best Live Action Short Title.”
Best Sound Editing: Hacksaw Ridge
Best Sound Mixing: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
Best Visual Effects: The Jungle Book. Okay, technical categories. Don’t let me down again.*
Best Adapted Screenplay: Arrival
Best Original Screenplay: Manchester by the Sea. Because it should win something, right?*