Edit: 16/24! I’m actually kind of impressed with myself…
I have a confession. I haven’t been to the movies in a very long time. I don’t think I’ve seen any of the Best Picture nominees this year, as much as I’d like to. Therefore, I think I’m uniquely qualified to guess what’s going to win at the Academy Awards tonight.
Although, I admit, my choices are probably biased towards the things I most want to see. The front runners seem to check the reliable boxes of Serious Dramas (all of them), Historical Period Pieces (12 Years a Slave, American Hustle), Potentially Unhealthy Actor Transformations (Dallas Buyers Club), and Major Social Issue (12 Years a Slave, Her). Then again, last year I thought Lincoln would be showered with glitz for doing all of those things and it didn’t.
So, without further ado:
Best Picture: I’m torn. Gravity and 12 Years a Slave seem equally likely. Let’s say Gravity.
Best Actor: Matthew McConnaughey, Dallas Buyers Club. Welcome to the Very Serious Actor Club, Matthew. Don’t let it go to your metabolism. (Sorry, Chiwetel Ejiofor, hopefully there’s another perfect storm of role, production, and critical reception for you next year.)*
Best Actress: Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine. Mainly because I read an article about her recently. Yeah.*
Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club. Two roles demanding great physical changes are better than one!*
Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong’o, 12 Years a Slave.*
Best Animated Feature Film: Without a nominee from Pixar, I’ll go with the next best thing: Disney’s Frozen. Only potential spoiler would be Miyazaki’s The Wind Rises.*
Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity. One of his previous films, Children of Men, is one of my all time favorites.*
Best Cinematography: Emmanuel Lubezki, Gravity. Then again, Children of Men was also nominated with some major technical innovations and didn’t win. Hmm.*
Best Costume Design: Patricia Norris, 12 Years a Slave.
Best Documentary Short: The Lady in Number 6: Music Saved My Life. Read an article about this one, too. And it checks off World War II/The Holocaust as well. Natch.*
Best Editing: Let’s go with Gravity again. Alfonso Cuarón and Mark Sanger. I really want to see this.*
Best Foreign Film: No idea. The Hunt. I saw the trailer for that one.
Best Makeup and Hair: Wait- Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa is on here? How did that happen? Man, I really need to see this on TV- it’ll be funny hearing that name alongside the eventual winners, Adruitha Lee and Robin Matthews of Dallas Buyers Club.*
Best Original Score: Didn’t Alexandre Desplat just win recently? Then it’ll be Thomas Newman, Saving Mr. Banks.
Best Original Song: Let It Go, Frozen. Apparently this one’s really catchy. <Listens> Yeah, it is.*
Best Production Design: I’ve got a feeling about Catherine Martin and Beverley Dunn, The Great Gatsby.*
Best Animated Short: I don’t think anyone else has seen these, so my guess for Feral is as good as anyone’s.
Best Live Action Short: I’m picking the shortest, most pronounceable title: Helium.*
Best Sound Editing: Sorry, Gravity, there’s no sound in space. Unless… Nope, it’ll be Brent Burge and Chris Ward of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug.
Best Sound Mixing: Let’s do Chris Burdon, Mark Taylor, Mike Prestwood Smith and Chris Munro, of Captain Phillips this time.
Best Visual Effects: Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, David Shirk and Neil Corbould on- wait for it… Gravity.*
Best Adapted Screenplay: John Ridley for 12 Years a Slave.*
Best Original Screenplay: I’m tempted to say Woody Allen here, but I have a hunch it’ll be Spike Jonze, Her.*
Is that all of them? Really? Okay. Let’s see who wins tonight!